Rumors by Neil Simon

directed by Ted Osborne
April, 2010

Starring (in alphabetical order):

David Badger as Officer Welch: David's first role with SOAP was as the Nazi Captain in The Sound of Music (2008). He followed that with the part of a chilling suitor in Sand Mountain (2009). David continues to build on his stage reputation as a real tough cookie. The cast knows otherwise.... He's a sweetie.

Paul Butler as Ernie Cusack: A Calgary snowbird with lots of courage, this is Paul's first appearance on the stage. He's one of the few actors to earn spontaneous applause from the cast during rehearsals. He's also the inventor of the Ernie Dance (upstage foot, downstage foot, upstage foot....). He says he can hardly wait for that fat paycheck. What? Why is the rest of the cast laughing?

Paul Everest as Lenny Ganz : Paul first appeared with SOAP last summer as The Lord in Sand Mountain. Going from playing Jesus to Lenny in Rumors has given his acting muscles a real workout. Paul is happy to be back for another production, but he hopes they'll compensate him for his whiplash injury. He dedicates his performance to the greats: Lovitz, Busey and Orbach.

Diane Gludovatz as Cookie Cusack: Diane is a SOAP institution. We're talking since 1985. Diane hopes the school board appreciates how she is cleaning the stage every night with her sixty year old Russian dress. Paul Everest would like to thank Diane for keeping him well-supplied with tough plastic bags during rehearsals (and the rest of the cast thanks her for the Cracker Jacks, pretzels and chips).

Aimee Grice as Chris Gorman: Aimee started out as a casual drinking ballroom dancer in The Sound of Music (2008) – and a nun. She progressed to an Appalachian moonshiner who could hold her liquor in Sand Mountain (2009). After her drunken performance in Rumors, she's afraid to think where her stage career is headed.

Jen Jensen as Cassie Cooper: Jen lurked backstage for California Suite (2004) but sashayed on stage for Black Comedy (2007) and Blithe Spirit (2007). Jen channels all the children's tantrums from her daycare business into her Rumors performance. Jen, the backstage crew wants to know where all the tape has gone?.... What do you mean you used it all on “wardrobe enhancement”?

Penelope Johnson as Claire Ganz: Penelope last appeared as the Baroness in The Sound of Music (2008) and directed Sand Mountain (2009). She was disappointed she didn't get to swear in this show, but she makes up for it by sharing Aimee's bottle of vodka. Penelope has been active in community theatre since age 10, and has been most thrilled in this show watching new actors catch the same bug.

Sera Lean as Officer Pudney: Sera has had a too-long hiatus from SOAP after first appearing in All in the Timing (2003), but has returned to keep the peace in Rumors. She would also like to apologize to cast and crew for her bulldog's offensive odor. We're just thankful that her bulldog and Diane's Shitzhu have not mated during rehearsals. That would be one unfortunate puppy with one unfortunate breed name....

Garth Robinson as Ken Gorman: “Feet in a cast? I don't have my feet in a cast!... Oh. Meet the cast. OK.” (Garth has been practicing selective hearing for many years.) This is his first acting role. Garth is also the Staple Gun Master for Rumors. With all his running up and down stairs, Garth has made sure that carpet is never coming off – or his feet would be in a cast....

Patrick Turner as Glenn Cooper: He's a man with political ambition, with his own secrets, who is subject to rumors amongst his friends. Oh, wait, that's Glenn, not Patrick. (It's hard separating role for reality when you're acting.) Patrick can be relied on for all sorts of Dollar Store with More items, including bottles of blood. Patrick has enjoyed laughing through rehearsals with the cast in this very funny play.

Behind the Scenes:

Producer ------------------------------------- Jennifer Mapplebeck
Director ---------------------------------------------- Ted Osborne
Assistant Director ------------------------------ Christine Rothwell
Stage Manager --------------------------------- Christine Rothwell
Set Design --------------------------------------------Ted Osborne
with assistance from --- Diane Gludovatz, Jennifer Mapplebeck
Set Construction ---------------- Guido Tagolucci, Garth Robinson
Set Dresser ---------------------------------- Jennifer Mapplebeck
Costumes ---------------------- Bernice Myllyniemi, Brenda Zakall
Properties ------------------- Allison Hutton, Jennifer Mapplebeck
Lighting ----------------------------. Chris Souto, David Gludovatz
Sound -------------------------------------------- David Gludovatz
Hair and Makeup ------------- Marilyn Mathieson, Carol Osborne,
& Jessica Leruyet
Publicity and Programme ---------------------- Penelope Johnson
Front of House ------------- Pat Linton, Pat Odowes, Elaine Ecker

Director's Notes:

Witty dialogue is at the heart of good comedy. Through it, character is revealed, plot developed, emotion portrayed, and situations made comical. The master of comic dialogue is Neil Simon, the most prolific and popular playwright of the modern era; and Rumors is a prime example of Simon at his best.

Through his skillful use of language, Simon peels away the veneer of his upwardly mobile socialites, and reveals them to be prone to the human vices and weaknesses that we all possess --- including our fascination with rumours about others around us. Simon uses innuendo, word play, incongruity, and even off-colour words to most effectively express his characters' reactions to circumstances beyond their control. So sit back, strap on your seatbelts, and get ready for a fast-paced romp through the chaotic and hilarious world of Neil Simon's Rumors.

Meet the Directors:

Ted Osborne (Director): Ted never ever swears in real life, and he is absolutely shocked at the language the cast is using. Ted has directed several SOAP shows: Mousetrap, Arsenic and Old Lace, Moon over Buffalo, and The Sound of Music. Oh, and California Suite (which also had some shocking language in it... shhhh.)

Christine Rothwell (Assistant Director, SM): Christine moved to Osoyoos from Port Moody in May 2009. She brings a wealth of stage experience as an English and Drama teacher, actor, director, and set construction. She “loves the feeling of being embraced by this new theatre group”. SOAP would like to warn her she may not want to embrace a bunch of sweaty, greasy, makeup covered actors.